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Growing up on the mean streets of the suburbs, life has always been, well, pretty boring.

Fading into the background was easy, feeling like another grey carbon copy of those milling around you, but it wasn’t enough.

So you decided to don some shades, adopt a pretty sketchy Cockney Keynes accent, and reinvent yourself as Fifty Shades - a modern day rapper poet.


Your first album, “Fifty Shades of a Colour I Chose at Home Base That They Can’t Remix Anymore” became a critical success overnight

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